im just pretending

yes..im just pretend that im happy..
i still can talk nicely to people around me
i still can give da biggggg smile for everyone around me..
i can make a joke..laugh together..
yes..people said

"belle aku x penah tgk kaw sedih..aku x penah tgk kaw marah2..kaw rilekssss je..mcm org xde probs..best jadi mcm kaw niy"

yeahh...terima kaseh pujian itu..
but deep inside..im not like that..balik rumah...
murammmm durjana..meet book with pen..then conteng conteng conteng smpai puas hati..itu je mmpu..nk meluah kn rase hati..mybe x lah kot...


so much word to say..tp bile dah taip..so bad...i canttttt i cantt do more like i want just now..adoii...tension masih dlm hati..bile nk kua tah..syuhhhh pegi jauh2..

mengapa ini semua terjadi? ku tak tahu...
jadi..bak kata dewa19..
hadapi dengan senyuman..
semua yang terjadi....biar terjadi..
hadapi dgn tenang jiwa..semuaaa...kan baik2 saja...

bila ketetapan tuhan..sudah ditetapkan..
tetap lah sudah...tak ada..yg bisa merubah
dan x kan ada..bisa berubah ;)

then now..
i dont know what to do...
i just waiting for bad some news soon...i sure..
so much weird thing they gonna say...
okay belle..what ever is..ur mum trust u more..
dont care what others say..they hate u cuz jelousy ;)